by Shae Marcus

In today’s fast-paced, achievement-driven world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of packing our children’s schedules with seemingly endless after-school activities—soccer on Mondays, music lessons on Wednesdays, tutoring on Thursdays and dance on Fridays—with homework squeezed in between and dinner eaten in the car. We sign them up with the best of intentions: to explore their interests, build skills and stay active. However, there’s a risk that enrichment can turn into overwhelm.

The truth is, even good things can become too much.

While extracurriculars can offer incredible benefits—teamwork, discipline, creativity, confidence and more—they can also unintentionally rob children of something they desperately need: downtime. Youngsters, like adults, need unstructured time to decompress, play freely and process their experiences. When every moment is scheduled, it can lead to fatigue, irritability and even anxiety. Sometimes, the very activities meant to bring joy end up becoming another source of pressure.

Finding the Balance

Start by observing the child’s energy and emotions. Check to see if they excited to go to their activities or are they dragging their feet, complaining of headaches, or struggling to sleep. They may be melting down over small things or withdrawing when they used to be bubbly. These may be signs that they’re overstimulated or stretched too thin.

It’s also helpful to consider the child’s age and temperament. A highly social, energetic child might thrive with a few weekly commitments, while a sensitive or introverted child may need more rest between activities. One size doesn’t fit all.

Some Topics to Help Guide the Family:

• Decide if each activity brings the child joy or stress.

• Are they asking to do it—or are we pushing because we think they should.

• Make sure there’s enough time in the week for rest, free play and family connection.

• Consider what would happen if one activity was removed. (Often, the answer is: relief.)

If the family is deep into a high-activity routine, creating space doesn’t mean quitting everything. Instead, choose one or two activities that truly light the child up and let go of the rest—even just for a season. Everyone might feel much more present and fulfilled.

And Remember— “Doing Nothing” is Actually Doing Something

The quiet time spent building LEGO towers, doodling in a notebook, walking the dog or simply lying in the grass staring at clouds is when creativity blooms. That’s when kids reconnect with themselves. It’s also where we, as parents, get to breathe.

At the end of the day, a balanced schedule isn’t about how many activities are listed on the calendar—it’s about how our children feel within it. Our job isn’t to keep them constantly entertained or enriched, but to give them space to grow at their own pace, in their own way.

Shae Marcus, publisher of Natural Awakenings South Jersey and Philadelphia editions, retreat host and mother of two teens, has tried every after-school activity… at least once. She has learned that not every kid is destined for varsity or Broadway—and that’s okay. Sometimes the greatest after-school win is simply finding both shoes, surviving the carpool line and remembering it’s pizza night. Here’s to less hustle, more hugs and the occasional skipped practice in favor of pancakes and pajamas.